Excited to Share my New PANDAS Podcast Episode on What Has Been Called 'Gender Disappointment'

I’m so excited to share that my podcast episode with PANDAS Foundation has now been released.

The episode is called “They say I’m disappointed but I’m not. What’s wrong with the term ‘Gender Disappointment?’” and it opens up a conversation that many parents experience, but very few feel able to speak about honestly.

A quiet moment to listen to a sensitive conversation.

Why this episode matters

In the episode, I really enjoyed speaking with Sally about the feelings often labelled as “gender disappointment”, and why that phrase can be unhelpful or even harmful.

For many parents, the feelings are not really about disappointment at all. They can be about grief, fear, shame, expectation, identity, family pressure, or the sudden rupture of a future they had imagined.

My work explores RIFis, which stands for Rupture of an Imagined Future due to infant sex. This language gives more space and care to a complex experience that is often dismissed too quickly.

Some feelings around parenthood are complex and hard to name.

A more compassionate conversation

This episode looks at the stigma and silence around these feelings, and why parents may feel unable to ask for support.

It is also an important reminder that having difficult thoughts or emotions does not make someone a bad parent. Feelings can be confusing and painful, but they can also be understood, supported, and moved through.

That is why I’m so grateful to PANDAS for creating space for this conversation.

Listen to the episode

You can listen to the episode here:

Listen on Apple Podcasts

You can also learn more about PANDAS and their support at pandasfoundation.org.uk.

Please be aware that the PANDAS podcast series may include themes across the full spectrum of mental health, including suicide, baby loss, self-harm, domestic violence, and other upsetting topics.

If you urgently need help or you are in a mental health crisis, you can call Samaritans on 116 123. In an emergency, call 999, or contact 111 if you need urgent support and are unsure what to do.

PANDAS also offers WhatsApp support on 07903 508334, every day between 8am and 10pm.

Support can begin with one small step.

Please always follow guidance from your GP or health practitioner for anything medically related from conception onwards. PANDAS Foundation does not advise on medication.

I’m really proud to be part of this episode, and I hope it helps more people feel able to speak about experiences that are so often held in silence.